Sunday, March 13, 2011

Confessions of a Cat Nanny






Be jealous. Be very jealous. I would be if I were in your shoes!
Now that I have been officially been deputized, I can claim my status as Corky the Cat Nanny of the infamous MAM Cat Posse! Yup, my first try out for deputy sheriff was back when Ms. Moss was off to Istanbul. We got along just fine back then but it was obvious they were sizing me up and not once allowed me to join in rustling up any varmints. Now that I am back while the official sheriff is off to Paris, I have been properly initiated and official. For all you other wanna-bees out there I highly recommend my personal varmint-getter - a 40 in. 'grabber'. A stick with a claw at the end. Made for short people like me to reach highest places in closets and shelves. Can't be without it. You can substitute for a cane in a pinch (no pun intended).

This the whole story:


Posse report as translated by deputy sheriff, cat nanny:

As the oldest (and therefore wisest) member of this here posse (namely Buck), I rustled up the first varmint to see jes how good this here deputy nanny really is. Oh, I had a great time messing with that little rat fink - even run him into nanny's open suitcase. Whatever sharpshooter that durn deputy brought - well, when she hit him with it he got lifted plumb in the air and over the fence before I could even draw any blood! Purty durn impressive. I have been keeping her feet warm every night! 
Then next night ole Wyatt decided to bring in The Fat Mole - you know, the one that looks like Michael Jackson's Ben and thinks he is so cute? He was so big it would've keep Wyatt busy for hours before bringing him down. Out comes the sharpshooter again but this time the varmint's so fat he didn't make it over the fence and there went Wyatt after him again. Found his cold, dead body later and this time saw her use that long pistol to put it in a sack and toss it in that big bin. Wyatt put another notch in his whiskers.

What can we say about that useless Corky? All she does is collects burrs, leaves and small branches in her fur all day just to get nanny to brush her and pet her. I do my best to keep her in line but she just goes off and does it again. 

Nanny tells us about your mission over there in that foreign place and we are glad to hear at least there are more dogs than cats this time. We feel bad not being with you to protect you from all those varmints - we know they are everywhere! But don't you worry about Moss Cottage. Between us, nanny and her sharpshooter, we'll keep things safe.

Meow, Purr, Meow, Purr, Meow Purr
The Cat Posse
***
After reading this you may not think to be jealous, but 'au contra-ire' (as they say in Paris).
If you are a reader of blogs about art journals, travel, books, music and inspiration you probably already know about Dispatch from LA. There is nothing quite as wonderful as holding a work of art in your hands and taking as long as you want to fill up your eyes. My own kitties (see them in sidebar) and Mr. Man miss me but loving that I come home so inspired and rested after my cat nanny retreat is over. Are you green yet?









3 comments:

apaperbear said...

Hmmm at last we know who we have to bump off... enjoy Ms. Katt Watcher Lady... we promise it wont be painful.

Just kidding kind sorta...

Corliss said...

Hehehe - I knew this was coming. Remember I have my 40 in. sharpshooter here. Cat Posse too!

jeanette, mistress of longears said...

Love your hysterical account of cat-sitting! Miss Moss chose wisely!